With summer time in full-swing, we are in the midst of summer camps, sleepovers, and endless lake days. Kids are excited for their summer off and parents are stressing out, trying to keep their child occupied, busy and having fun week-in and week-out. Parents often rely on summer camps, play dates, and babysitters for work-day child care or a much needed break in the middle of the week; and while these are all incredible opportunities for parents to immerse their children in the experience of summer, it is also important for parents to be aware and be wise to who they are leaving their children with, as well as educating their children on how to be safe while still having fun.
For the past three years, I worked as the Clinical Coordinator and Therapist at The Child Advocacy Center of Lapeer County and in my time working there, I saw kids and families day-in and day-out who were unfortunately victimized by the life-changing impact of abuse. While some may say this crime does not happen in Lake Orion, I am saddened to say that in my years as a therapist, and in light of recent culture, I have learned that abuse and trauma do not discriminate by demographic or geographic location.
In working with this population for several years, I have learned the best way to prevent abuse is to educate our kids and be educated ourselves. It is important to talk to our kids about safety; and not just the typical “stranger danger” or “wait 30 minutes after eating to swim,” but talking to them about body safety, being aware of uncomfortable feelings, and knowing where to go if they feel unsafe. As parents, it is impossible to be with our kids 24/7, but hopefully with these 3 safety tips, we can have a fun and safe summer:
1. Openly Communicate About Body Safety
This is often an uncomfortable conversation for parents to have with their children, but it is so important for kids to know the anatomically correct terms for their body parts and know what parts of their body should be private. In the summer time it is fairly easy to explain that a child’s “private parts” are the parts that are covered by a bathing suit. In addition to a child knowing his/her private parts, it is also necessary for them to know that if anyone makes them feel uncomfortable or gives them an “icky feeling” they need to tell a safe person or trusted adult. Many kids feel scared in these situations and while reinforcing this does not get rid of the fear or discomfort, it creates an open line of communication and a foundation for future conversations.
2. Have a List of Safe People
It is so important for kids and parents to have a shared list of “emergency contacts.” You want this list to include people that you and your child know and trust. I often encourage parents to ask their child to make their own list of “safe people” before offering any suggestions. This allows the parents to get an idea of who their child instinctively trusts. From there, parents can modify the list or make suggestions of individuals they know will listen to and believe their child if the child is confused or scared. I also advise parents to include a family member, close family friend, and at least one trusted person in authority, including a police officer, teacher, fire fighter, etc. in case they need immediate help.
3. Listen to and Respect Your Child’s Boundaries
Throughout most of our childhoods, it was expected that we hug “Uncle Joe” or kiss “Aunt Sally” at family get-togethers, and it was never up for discussion. Even if, as a child, we felt uncomfortable, it was the expectation and the norm. Knowing what we know now about the prevalence of child abuse and knowing that statistically, 90% of child sexual abuse victims know their perpetrator, it is important for us, as adults, to respect a child’s boundaries and listen when they are telling us they feel uncomfortable. We need to make it okay if they do not want to engage in physical contact with a particular family member or friend and introduce them to the idea of consent.
Hopefully, with this awareness and education, parents and kids throughout Lake Orion can enjoy their summer full of barbeques, bonfires, and lake-side living! If you are looking for more information about how to talk to your kids about safety or if you are interested in counseling for your child or teen, please feel free to contact Yearego PC via phone (586) 651-1575 or e-mail lauren@yearegopc.com.